The Internet is changing and it is changing how we communicate with each other. We are meeting new friends communicating differently with existing friends. We are microblogging and microreading instead of reading and writing long text. Some people say we will stop reading books other says iit is just the changing world of information publishing and gathering. I have written some fact on it here Virtual revolution
According to Wired Magazine 12 years ago China had 620.000 Internet users, now they are 338 million.Therefore it is a important market for every Big corporation out there.They’re censoring system has made it hard for companies like Google, twitter and yahoo to find their place in China‘s Internet.There is a great firewall blacklisting sites for hundreds of millions searches each hour in all China. There is in China growing movement for having the internet open and free and more and more people have made it through the “wall”
Now in the beginning of 2010 a battle has started between a big corporation and a country regarding the issue of censoring searches and limited use of the internet for the Chinese people.Google takes on China, saying they will get out of China they had been burglarized and what was stolen was personal information of users.Now Hilary Clinton has made comment on the subject.It is a big case for China, loosing Google can have effects on the whole economy and loosing China for Goggle is looking a huge and soon largest online market for internet users.
It will always be a difficult job for couples to rebuilt relationships after affair. The trust is gone and it will take a lot of time to gain that trust again. If the affair happens during a special kind of situation like e.g business trip of one partner, the anxiety of the other during business trips will be terrible. Many will agree not to go on those or stop being in those situations the affair started or took place. Affairs on the internet have become a huge problem and theinternet is the new dangers zone for affairs. It can be hard to stop using the internet at home after a cyber affair. Like the anxiety is tremendous during the partners business trips, the anxiety will also be bad during surfing of the partners who had affair on the internet. The problem is it is most of the time not so easy to stop using a computer or the internet. As a therapist working with couples after an affair I often felt a badly needed a helpful tool to manage the internet use and reduce the anxiety around computer usage at home. Since launching Responsible Surfing it has become a valuable to for people to use during the phase of developing trust again. Let me give some points on what has been successful in reducing the anxiety after a affair on the internet, reducing the risk of relapse and building trust. 1. Taking a computer break: It is not necessary but can be good starting point for one or two weeks to stop using the computer at home 2. Make a contract on what is allowed and what is not, See examples of contracts on http://www.responsiblesurfing.com/internet_Contracts/ 3. Blocking dating sites. Responsible Surfing offers a blocking list of pages that you can build yourself. Take time to set up list of dating sites to be blocked (admin list) for the spouse that had the affair and choose yourself if you want to block other sites as well. 4. Monitoring word: Set up a list of words to monitor. You can choose words like “sex”, or other flirting relating words. SO every time those words are written the other spouse will get an email or SMS alert that this word has been typed. You can also block the user for typing those words 5. Block chat programs Sometimes it can be important to block all chat programs or special chat programs that was used in the affair 6. Monitor chat: If you do not want to block chat you can monitor all keywords written so you can see how you spouse is chatting to and what is said. 7. If you want to see better how the computer is used you can take screenshot on time interval or just of the special sites you want to watch closely or when the word of the list mentioned above is used 8. Weekly meeting: It is good practice the set up a weekly meeting to discuss how you are doing and look at the report on computer use. Just look at the necessary things and try always do this together. You can say you should not use software to monitor your spouse internet use. But after an affair the trust has been broken and it is not so easy just to start trusting. At the same time I would not recommend anyone to spy on their spouse. Using Responsible Surfing helps couples overcome anxiety of another affair on the computer and at the same time build the trust again slowly. Use the tool but do not overuse it or misuse it. Bjorn Hardarson Clinical Psychologist www.responsiblesurfing.com
